


That Little Brown Box You Kept

by sinnamonstache (desticockles)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Bonding, Childhood Memories, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 20:37:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desticockles/pseuds/sinnamonstache
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam had wondered a few times what was inside that little brown box Dean told him to leave alone, always telling him it was nothing, that it wasn't for him. For a while he had assumed it was porn, but now that they are moving into the Men of Letters bunker for good and it's sitting out on a shelf, Sam's curiosity has been peaked once again, and this time he is determined to find out what it is even if he has to steal it from Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Little Brown Box You Kept

That little brown box. It sat in the back of the impala on top of the hidden arsenal in the trunk for years, taped shut and often times hidden by other junk like jackets and shirts and duffel bags. At one point Dean had wrapped the little box inside of Castiel's trench coat, but that didn't last long because he had taken the coat back to keep with him when he slept, and he would try to hide it from Sam when he did, but Sam could see through Dean. And though that may be true, Sam still had no clue what could be in that little brown box Dean kept.

Now Sam sat at the table in the bunker, trying to read a book but instead only scanning the pages and glancing up at the door to Dean's room a little too often. He pushed his fingers to his eyes, trying to put the stupid box out of his mind, but it was nearly impossible to do so when he knew it was just in the other room and Dean wouldn't be back from getting groceries for another hour or more since they were so far from town. He tried, he really did, but his curiosity got the best of him after a ten minute battle in his head, and he slammed his book shut as he stood up.  _It's not a big deal,_ Sam told himself when he pulled the door to Dean's room open, _he will never notice. I'll be in and out in a few seconds._

He went straight for the little brown box, running his fingers over the worn wood and peeling duct tape, wanting so badly to just rip it open. Instead he gently pulled at the corners of the strips of tape until they were only attached to the bottom half of the box so he could pull the lid off. He was about to open the box, but his gut twisted up at the thought that maybe he had been right before in thinking it was some kind of secret porn stash or something, but he still wanted to know. It was the thought of Dean finding out and getting angry that made Sam pull away from the box. _Dammit, why shouldn't I be able to know what's in it?!_ Sam protested, arguing with himself. He caught himself doing it, and felt releif in the fact that  _at least I'm talking to myself and not to Lucifer..._

And with that he returned his hands to the box, fingers pulling gently up on the lid until he could just barely see inside, all the while thinking  _I shouldn't be doing this, this is Dean's private property, I shouldn't be doing this..._ And before he can stop himself the lid is all the way off and he is holding it upside down in his hands. He sets it slowly down onto the shelf, trying to keep his eyes away from the contents of the box for as long as possible because he really didn't think he should be invading Dean's space.

Finally his eyes settled on the contents of the box; little, brightly colored ribbons and movie ticket stubs, old candy wrappers from a candy bar Sam used to love so much he would beg Dean to get one for him, which often meant stealing them. His mouth fell open and he gingerly held one of the little ribbons in his hand and read the gold metalic writing printed on the frontm of the green ribbon, "field day" from an old school he barely remembered, second place. There were maybe five of them, each a different color, a different font, a different school, and all secon place. But there was one, an orange one, that was from a halloween costume contest from middle school that he had won first place in, which meant a gift card to Applebee's and a little plastic crown that he gave to the girl who had a crush on him so that Dean wouldn't make fun of him when he came home with a sparkling crown on his head. 

He pushed past the ribbons and turned his attention to the ticket stubs, maybe ten of them, each from a movie he had seen with Dean when their dad was away. Sam would have to beg, pulling at the sleeves of Dean's shirt and giving him a pained puppy dog look, which always worked in the end. He remembered the way Dean would make him shove candy into his sleeves and pants if he wanted any because it cost too much to get at the counter, but he would still buy them popcorn because he had a horrifying weakness for the buttery, salty popcorn that only movie theaters had. He remembered each movie, the plot, the way he would curl into Dean when it got too scary for him and Dean would laugh and shake Sam, and thinking back on it made Sam laugh; becaue if only he had known that the terrifying things he had seen in those horror movies were far less frightening than the things he would grow up to fight almost every day.

Beneath those were Sam's old school photos, which they had only three of because of all the moving around they had done, all three of which made him cringe because he wasn't very photgenic as a kid. One picture his hair was short and sticking up in all directions because dad had just given him a haircut but he was a little drunk at the time, and it ended up lopsided and Sam tried to fix it but only got frustrated and ruffled it up just before it was his turn to have his picture taken. In another he looked like he was drunk because the picture snapped just as he started blinking, but the camera man didn't care wether or not the picture turned out okay, he just wanted to get over with his horrible day and leave the school where little kids were yelling and arguing. Then there was his Senor picture, the one where he didn't look quite so miserable as he did when he was younger, but still looked so much more hopeful than he did the last few years.

Beneath that was a folded and torn pice of paper that was yellowing from the years it had spent in the little box. Sam pulled in a sharp breath, knowing instantly what it was, and when he ran his fingers across the soft, worn paper, tears began to pool in his eyes. He took it in his hands, unfolding it carefully to read the note he had once scrawled out in angry letters to Dean to tell him he was running away. He had packed a bag full of candy bars and little bottles of water from the motel's mini fridge, and took an extra pair of clothes with him. Dean had been sleeping, exhausted from a long day spent with dad drinking and swearing before he stormed out to go on a hunt. Just before he left he grabed a pocket knife, thinking it might come in handy, and stuck the note next to Dean's head on the pillow. He was gone for two days, and the whole time Dean had been panicking, running around town asking if anyone had seen Sam. Sam had eventually felt the guilt twist up in his stomach so tight that he couldn't stand it anymore and he came back, greeted by Dean's scolding as soon as he got to the door of the motel room. Dean lectured him for only a minute or two before he broke down and pulled Sam into his arms, crying because he was afraid he might have lost him for good and that note had scared him. But they never told John about it, kept it their little secret and went out to pickpocket some business man on the street to get the money for icecream to make them both feel better about it before dad came back from his hunt.

**"Dear Dean,**

**I'm sorry I have to leave you like this, when you're asleep, but what else can I do? I don't want you to worry about me, I just need to get away from this. I love you, but I can't just sit around here while dad drinks himself angry and yells at us. Please forgive me, Dean, I just can't do it anymore.**

**Don't come after me.**

**I don't want to be found, but I do want you to know that I love you and I don't want you to worry too much. I will be fine.**

**\- Sam"**

Reading it now, he felt stupid for ever even writing it, but more stupid for actually acting on it. Part of him wanted to take it all back, but really he was kind of greatful that he did do it because it was another way for him and Dean to bond. What better way to bond than over a mutually kept secret and icecream paid for by an unknowing stranger? And even though Sam was now crying, he felt a smile creep over his face.

The rest of the contents of the box were old bottle caps and a candy wrapper or two, a few little pins and a pice of string, and the credit card they had taken from some random guy off the street so that Dean could buy Sam some new shirts and pants when he started growing more and dad had stopped paying attention. It was a box full of memories, and it wasn't nearly as simple or pointless as he had thought that little brown box that Dean had kept in the trunk had been.

Sam wipped the tears from his eyes and put the lid back onto the box, gently pressing the tape back down to keep it closed the way it had been, and left Dean's room - but not before taking a glance at the picture of mom that sat on Dean's dresser. His mouth pulled up into a smile and he sat back down at the table to open his book and go back to pretending to read for a while until Dean came back, the memories swelling up his heart and filling him with nostagia even though his childhood was far from normal and definitely not something other people would think could make anyone happy.

"Hey, I'm back!" Dean called from the entrance of the bunker, and Sam could hear the rustling of grocery bags as he made his way to greet Dean. Dean was fumbling towards the kitchen with a few too many bags in his hands to keep steady, and Sam reached out to take some of the load from Dean. When Dean looked up at Sam he could instantly tell that something was a little off, and since when is Sam so eager to help Dean? He'd normally be laughing quietly at Dean from the doorway while he watched Dean struggle.

"You alright?" Dean asked, sure something wasn't right when Sam seemed to not want to look directly at Dean. Sam hummed lightly, questioningly, finally meeting eyes with Dean. When he saw the worry on Dean's face he felt a bit bad, but he kept thinking about what he'd found in that box, and he couldn't help but smile faintly.

"Yeah," Sam said quietly, tears prickling the back of his eyes, "I'm alright."

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to say that this story was inspired by a little pink field day ribbon of my little brother's that I found, and for what ever reason it got me thinking that maybe Dean would keep little trinkets from their childhood, the stupid little ribbons and awards that Sam would get from grade school field days and halloween parties, so I decided to write this.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed reading it!
> 
> I love you all! ^_^


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